I'm typing from my phone in the middle of the night. Someone showed me this blog today. I had lost it when I stopped posting. I forgot where it was and then I forgot that it ever was. When I read my two posts I felt like I reconnected to a part of me that I lost touch with, some far away person I used to know. And I am contemplating the empty space. And the long, long distance between that place and here.
Do we lose faith when bad things happen? When things don't turn out like we hoped? When repeatedly we pray for the healing and mercy for our loved ones and we see more sickness and struggle? Do we get weary and turn away? Is it too hard to look at? Do we give up? Do we get worn out from searching and stop? But it's not "we" that I'm really asking about, it's me. But right now the empty space feels desperately lonely so it feels much better when it's a we and not just me. This is the part when love hurts and I get confused. More will be revealed.